Why must every eleven minutes of my life be filled with misery?!
— Squidward Tentacles, "Club SpongeBob"
Squidward Q. Tentacles is the tritagonist of the series. He is the neighbor between SpongeBob and Patrick. Squidward is a cephalopod. His species is an octopus, according to the series creators, despite his name containing the word "squid" and him having six legs instead of eight legs. Squidward lives in a house shaped like an Easter Island head (Moai head).
He works as the cashier of the Krusty Krab, a job he absolutely loathes. SpongeBob works with Squidward at the Krusty Krab, where SpongeBob works as the fry cook. Squidward is a very selfish individual and displays an unjustified air of superiority, but is a much loved character of the show.
He also has over 500 self-portraits and is delusional about his talents (such as playing the clarinet) though nobody around him considers him to be very good. The series' animators made Squidward with six tentacles, believing that giving him eight tentacles of an octopus would have made him look too burdened and would be too difficult to animate.
In Squidward's childhood, he had to sit near the garbage cans at lunch, as revealed in Boating Buddies. When he was an adult, he was part of the Krusty Krab along with Jim and later, after Jim quit, with a fry cook whose name is yet to be revealed. One day, he was planting a garden and a pineapple fell on him and destroyed his garden. A sponge named SpongeBob SquarePants moved into that pineapple and Squidward has been grumpy ever since. See his antagonistic side, leisure, and near-death experiences sections for more of his biography.
Squidward's personality is grumpy, angus and of course, miserible. In spite of this, he is still one of the most intelligent character, and out of the ten major characters, he can be categorized as the most educated ones, along with Sandy and Gary. He has a sarcastic attitude and sees others as uncivilized morons, while failing to accept his own personal shortcomings. Squidward sees himself as misunderstood and unappreciated, blaming society for his failures. He is annoyingly pretentious in his pursuit of fame and is either unwilling or unable to spot talent and creativity, even belittling it. He lauds "cultivated taste" and accepted standards. In the episode "Artist Unknown", he insists that his pupil SpongeBob "show his method", even when it's painfully clear that SpongeBob has artistic genius. In the episode Bubblestand, he belittles SpongeBob's brilliant bubble-blowing.
Squidward is also jealous of those who are more artistic than him, for example: Nat Peterson, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Squilliam Fancyson and even the puppet Big Nose. Added by Spongeboy443Squidward is generally portrayed as an overall failure. His musical skills with the clarinet are generally portrayed as subpar, from mediocre to excruciatingly horrible. However, In Best Day Ever, he has a concert where he plays beautifully and receives thunderous applause from the audience. His overall artistic style is shown to be abstract and overly sophisticated, and his works are commonly panned by his audiences. His critical failure is shown to be more due to his bad taste rather than a genuine lack of talent. It is worth noting that the majority of his art centers around himself, apparently holding his very being to be an artistic wonder. In "One Krab's Trash", Squidward is shown bringing flowers to a gravestone reading "Here Lies Squidward's Hopes and Dreams." Despite his lack of success, Squidward is tireless in his pursuit of artistic achievement. In "Dunces and Dragons", Squidly, Squidward's medieval ancestor, vowed that if he couldn't learn to play the clarinet right, his seventh great-grandson would be cursed tenfold. In "Squilliam Returns", Squilliam Fancyson mentions that Squidward was voted "Most Likely to Suck Eggs" in high school.
Given how Squidward is depicted as a loser in most regards, it's likely that his 'narcissism' is actually a defense mechanism to make him feel as if he has some form of self-worth. Outwardly, he in fact shows signs of modest success: he lives in a nice, well-tended house, with no signs of slothfulness, and finds plenty of time to lead an active, involved life.
Squidward is well-educated and knows his history. He is actually intelligent and has lots of knowledge, especially compared to those of SpongeBob and Patrick. Squidward is also a skilled driver, as he manages to drive virtually everything, from a traditional bike, a boat/car, and even a tractor. And Squidward is a good-natured and caring person, he just doesn't like to be involved in things.
When at the Krusty Krab, he is a lazy, sloppy employee (as shown in the Krusty Krab Training Video) who has an intense dislike of the Krusty Krab and its management. He is considered "inattentive, impatient", with "a glazed look in the eye." However, given the management's treatment of the employees his attitude towards the company is more realistic than SpongeBob's. In the episode "Squid on Strike", he organizes a worker's strike at the Krusty Krab. He even causes the destruction of the Krusty Krab, although indirectly and accidentally.In the episode "Squidville", he moves to a town filled with his own peers, other octopi who share his tastes and outlook on life. Here, he is forced to face how boring and oppressive his desired lifestyle really is, and he is able to ultimately break free of its bonds with a bit of inspired silliness.thumb|link=http://spongebob.wikia.com/wiki/User:SpongeBob_EditPants is able to ultimately break free of its bonds with a bit of inspired silliness.thumb|link=http://spongebob.wikia.com/wiki/User:SpongeBob_EditPants is able to ultimately break free of its bonds with a bit of inspired silliness.thumb|link=http://spongebob.wikia.com/wiki/User:SpongeBob_EditPants is able to ultimately break free of its bonds with a bit of inspired silliness.thumb|link=http://spongebob.wikia.com/wiki/User:SpongeBob_EditPants is able to ultimately break free of its bonds with a bit of inspired silliness.thumb|link=http://spongebob.wikia.com/wiki/User:SpongeBob_EditPants is able to ultimately break free of its bonds with a bit of inspired silliness.thumb|link=http://spongebob.wikia.com/wiki/User:SpongeBob_EditPants is able to ultimately break free of its bonds with a bit of inspired silliness.thumb|link=http://spongebob.wikia.com/wiki/User:SpongeBob_EditPants is able to ultimately break free of its bonds with a bit of inspired silliness.
Even though Squidward has tentacles, he is shown or implied to have fingers, toes and even nails in episodes such as "Once Bitten", "House Fancy", and "Giant Squidward".thumb|link=http://spongebob.wikia.com/wiki/User:SpongeBob_EditPants is able to ultimately break free of its bonds with a bit of inspired silliness.Even though Squidward has tentacles, he is shown or implied to have fingers, toes and even nails in episodes such as "Once Bitten", "House Fancy", and "Giant Squidward". In "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V", it is implied that Squidward at one point had a girlfriend when he remembered the good times he had at make-out reef.thumb|link=http://spongebob.wikia.com/wiki/User:SpongeBob_EditPants is able to ultimately break free of its bonds with a bit of inspired silliness.Even though Squidward has tentacles, he is shown or implied to have fingers, toes and even nails in episodes such as "Once Bitten", "House Fancy", and "Giant Squidward".In "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V", it is implied that Squidward at one point had a girlfriend when he remembered the good times he had at make-out reef.thumb|link=http://spongebob.wikia.com/wiki/User:SpongeBob_EditPants In "SpongeBob's Last Stand" he knows about the environment, even when Jellyfish Fields became a wasteland.Added by SpongeBob EditPants
AppearanceEditAdded by SpongeBob EditPantsAdded by VoronGlassAdded by SpongeBob EditPants
Squidward Tentacles is a light turquoise octopus, and has purple suction cups at the end of his tentacles. He has six limbs in total, two being arms and four being legs, which tend to make the shape of a plus when he stands in place. Whenever he walks, his suction cups stick to the floor, meaning that he walks with a distinct squelching noise. Squidward has a large cranium with eight holes on the top of it to presumably show his baldness. However, in the episode ‘The Original Fry Cook, it showed that he had long blond hair once. He also has a skinny body, big droopy nose, a wide mouth and yellow eyes with rectangle vertical dark red irises and rectangle red pupils. When he laughs, his nose appears to deflate and inflate repeatedly. He wears a brown short-sleeved shirt, which is sometimes shorter. In reality, Squidward is only eight inches and two ounces.
His color is inconsistent throughout the series. While he is shown to be lighter green in earlier episodes, in later episodes he is shown having a lighter and more blue color. His species has also been a debate among fans. Though the writers say he is an octopus, his name implies that he may also be a squid. Squidward has confirmed that he is an octopus in ‘‘The Play's the Thing,' and 'Plankton later calls him an octopus in' ‘‘Sweet and Sour Squid.
In the episode ‘‘Just One Bite,' it shows a close up of Squidward's face, revealing it to be disturbing and very morbid. This has scared some kids that watch the show. In the episode Frankendoodle he was wearing fancy clothing 'in one scene.
Squidward has a considerable antagonistic side, frequently taking advantage of the situation to keep SpongeBob from tormenting him, which only backfires and worsens.
- In "Fools in April", Squidward gets annoyed with SpongeBob pulling playful and harmless pranks on people at the Krusty Krab, and pulls a very cruel and harmful prank on SpongeBob in retaliation. Squidward then laughs at him when he comes out of the trash, which makes SpongeBob run out of the restaurant sobbing hysterically, and the Bikini Bottomites turn on him. Squidward tries to apologize, but he is physically unable to apologize until the very end of the episode, where SpongeBob has the last laugh: all his friends were standing behind him in his house and witnessed Squidward's apology. As a result, Squidward suffers a mental breakdown and runs off back to his house laughing maniacally after shouting that he had just fooled them as well.Added by Darylaine 12
- In "Can You Spare a Dime?", Squidward accepts SpongeBob's offer to live in his house until he finds a new job. However, he takes advantage of SpongeBob's hospitality by lying in bed all day and essentially making SpongeBob his domestic slave, staying so long that the Narrator quits and not even attempting to find a job. This eventually proves too much for SpongeBob who for one of the few times in the series becomes angry with Squidward, who soon begins aggressively giving Squidward obvious hints to get a job, which Squidward either doesn't notice or chooses to ignore. Eventually, SpongeBob confronts Mr. Krabs in an attempt to force him to give Squidward his job back, and in the process accidentally reveals that Mr. Krab's first "dime" (a stone-age wheel) was in his pants the whole time, and that Squidward did not steal it.
- In "Squidward, the Unfriendly Ghost", when SpongeBob and Patrick believe they have killed Squidward and that he is now a ghost, he takes advantage of this by making them his slaves. Eventually, SpongeBob and Patrick, after reading a magazine about the Flying Dutchman's death, get the idea that Squidward is being mean and angry because he was never put to rest. SpongeBob and Patrick attempt to bury Squidward, which ultimately brings him to confess that he is actually alive. However, SpongeBob and Patrick still think that Squidward is a ghost in denial and send him to the "great beyond" by trapping him in a bubble, which floats up into the sky where the pelicans are.
- In the episode "Grandma's Kisses" Squidward and the customers at the Krusty Krab ruthlessly tease SpongeBob for having a kiss on his forehead given by his grandma. At the end of the episode, it is shown that they have been spying on SpongeBob with his grandma through her house's window.
- In the episode "Employee of the Month", SpongeBob and Squidward viciously compete with each other for the employee of the month award, both of them trapping each other in hopes of getting to work first.
- In the episode "Funny Pants" SpongeBob's laughing annoyed him, so he told SpongeBob that he had a "laugh box" that would burn up if he laughed within 24 hours and could never laugh again. SpongeBob eventually thinks he lost his laugh and goes into "spiraling depression." which proves to be too much for Squidward to handle.
- In "The Splinter", Squidward tells SpongeBob that Mr. Krabs will have to kick him out for getting a splinter at work.
- In "Sponge-Cano!", He scolds everyone in the Krusty Krab and yells at SpongeBob for humming.
- In "Professor Squidward" Squidward says he is Squilliam, but the principal finds a real Squilliam and then Squidward was arrested and sent to jail.
- In "I ♥ Dancing", Squidward gets jealous that SpongeBob has an audition in a musical, and "teaches" him how to dance in order to steal the spot for himself, training SpongeBob to the point of exhaustion. While he wins, he is going to star in Squilliam's musical, and is forced to train to perform a dance that SpongeBob had performed earlier, with Squilliam clearly planning to run him ragged just as Squidward had done to SpongeBob.
- In "Good Ol' Whatshisname", Squidward steals What Zit Tooya's wallet and ran a red light in front of a police officer and gets arrested and was sentenced to ten years in jail.
- In "The Lost Mattress", while retrieving the mattress, Squidward nearly threatened to murder SpongeBob, and then he used him and Patrick as "worm bait". But it is Squidward who becomes the worm's prey.
- In Krusty Towers, He made several ridiculous requests with the purpose of driving Mr. Krabs crazy (though Krabs did have this coming).
- In New Fish in Town, He dragged SpongeBob, Patrick, and Howard's homes down a trench.
- In That Sinking Feeling, He tried to separate SpongeBob and Patrick by drawing a line, and later, he threatened them that if Squidward's house was not back to normal on the count of three, he will grind them into chum (kill them).
- In Little Yellow Book, Squidward reads SpongeBob's work diary in front of the customers, which made SpongeBob sad. He sees that he has been known as a "diary thief," but doesn't feel be until his house got repossessed. Later, he even reads SpongeBob's personal diary. This behavior even upsets Mr. Krabs who is considered the secondary antagonist of the series.
Despite Squidward's antagonist side, he has been blamed many times for things that weren't his fault.
- In Your Shoe's Untied, SpongeBob constantly keeps tripping over his untied shoelaces, making dozens of Krabby Patties fly into Squidward's mouth. The customers blamed him for eating the food, even when Squidward told them it was SpongeBob's fault.
- In Krab Borg, Squidward was yelled at by Mr. Krabs for tying him up and destroying his items, even though SpongeBob had a hand in it and was the one who convinced Squidward that Mr. Krabs was a robot in the first place. In fact, the only reason SpongeBob was let off the hook was because he had to "feed Gary".
- In Squid on Strike, Squidward is outraged, and goes on strike due to Mr. Krabs instead of paying him for his "work" made him pay Mr. Krabs. SpongeBob tags along (as he did not know that he would lose his job) so to get their jobs back he destroys the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs then makes both of them work to pay off the damages, despite the fact that Squidward did not play a part in demolishing the Krusty Krab.
- In Can You Spare a Dime, Mr. Krabs blamed Squidward for stealing his missing dime since he was near the cash register. This causes Squidward to quit his job, lose everything, and drive SpongeBob mad. It was soon revealed that Mr. Krabs' dime was in his pocket the entire time, and Squidward was hired back. Even so, he later accused Squidward for putting the dime in his pants, and history likely repeated itself.
- In The Lost Mattress he wrote Mr. Krabs a card saying that he got him a new mattress (even though it was all SpongeBob's and Patrick's idea). But he actually caused Krabs to go into a "Cash Coma" due to the fact that all his money was in the old mattress. He was then forced by the police to get the mattress back. Though this could count as karmic punishment, since he wanted to take credit for SpongeBob and Patrick's work.
- In Good Neighbors SpongeBob and Patrick interrupt Squidward's Sunday morning by trying to be "good neighbors". Squidward then installs a security system to keep them away from him. But it malfunctions causing his house to come to life, and destroy the town. After it was turned off, he was given a sentence to community service every Sunday (even though he really didn't do anything).
- In Cephalopod Lodge, Spongebob, and Patrick follow Squidward to a secret club of his thus causing him to get kicked out, when he really didn't know they were even coming. In fact he carefully checked his surroundings to try to avoid this.
- In Boating Buddies, Squidward was being annoyed by SpongeBob, so he got in his boat and attempted to drive away, however SpongeBob accidently causes Squidward to crash, thus sending him to SpongeBob’s boating school. He was then injured many times due to SpongeBob’s bad driving, thus he was unable to take the test despite the fact that he knew the right answers.
- In Truth or Square He, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Mr. Krabs got stuck in the air vents. Patrick then took out a radio that he "borrowed" from Sandy. He then tried calling for help, but he didn't know how to use it. So Squidward used it to call Sandy. But Sandy then accused him of stealing it from her.
- In Keep Bikini Bottom Beautiful Squidward was given a total of eight tickets to community service by the end of the episode. Even though he never actually littered, and instead was just assumed to.
- In Sentimental Sponge SpongeBob becomes a hoarder off of the idea that random garbage holds valuable memories. He later throws it into Squidward's yard. This angers Squidward, and he ends up calling the police on SpongeBob. They then condemn SpongeBob's house for being unsanitary, and then Squidward's for being covered in his garbage. Even though none of it was Squidward's, nor was he a hoarder.
- In The Googly Artiste, Patrick becomes famous off his "art" (ironically Squidward's seemed better from the viewers' perspective), and Mr. Krabs becomes mad at him for making his art from Krabby Patties in which he sold for more money then he bought them for. He then said he was just following Squidward’s advice, thus getting Squidward into trouble. But that wasn't what Squidward meant when he was giving "advice".
- In Fiasco!, he was sent to prison when he really didn't do anything bad at all. He led them to SpongeBob's house saying that SpongeBob, Patrick, and Gary are making noise. In fact, he actually did the police a favor by leading them to Plankton, who stole the famous art piece Fiasco. He probably was arrested for blaming someone that hadn't done anything. It's possible that he went to jail for the fact that Fiasco’s paining he discovered was worthless.
LeisureEditSquidward playing his clarinetAdded by Alexa Rose Morreale
An avid patron of the arts, Squidward has a strong affection for interpretive dance, sculpting, painting, and playing the clarinet, but seems to have almost no talent for any of them whatsoever, although he does play the clarinet beautifully at the end of the "Christmas Who?", and at the end of the "Bubblestand" episode, also in "The Two Faces of Squidward". He has often tried to impress the public with his artistic exhibitions, but is always either unrecognized, mocked by his audience, or upstaged by SpongeBob. Squidward always wants to be the center of attention but rarely ever is. In "Best Day Ever" he had a concert where he played beautifully and received thunderous applause from the audience. SpongeBob was on the VIP list for it, which is ironic, considering Squidward's intense hatred for him. Squidward also misses many chances to become famous, even in his dreams.
All of his artwork, from sculptures to paintings, depicts himself in a way, even repainting existing works to include his own face. He surrounds himself with said art throughout his house, a clear indication of his narcissist tendencies. These arts have occasionally been admired greatly by Patrick and SpongeBob, but are universally hated by the rest of Bikini Bottom.
He has tried several things to reach the fame he desires: hosting a talent show, starting his own astrology spin-off, forming a band, and so on, yet he can't seem to get much of a following. Mr. Krabs and Patrick also seem to like him, though it may be argued that Mr. Krabs only likes Squidward because of his allegiance with the Krusty Krab. It is interesting to note that Squidward once stated that "anyone can be a big shot in a hick town like Bikini Bottom", yet he cannot make a name for himself.
Bad but Good ArtEdit
Despite Squidward said to be a bad talentless artist, his art has been turned down many times for something that ironically wasn't as good.
In Sleepy Time, Squidward is in his dream playing his clarinet (presumably in the 1700s) to the king. SpongeBob then causes Squidward to break his clarinet by accident, and thus Squidward is forced to use SpongeBob as a replacement. It sounds horrible but everyone loved it.
In Squid Wood, Squidward becomes jealous of Mini Squidward when he was "stealing his life" by doing all the same artistic things Squidward did (including jokes) but Squidward was always turned down for Mini Squidward despite the fact that they were both doing exactly the same things.
In The Masterpiece, Squidward made a large statue of Mr. Krabs to eliminate the competition of the Sea Chicken Shack; however it was turned down, and was replaced by the real Mr. Krabs.
In The Googly Artiste, Squidward made a statue of himself which was turned down by an art critic. Patrick then made a pet rock (nothing more than a rock with google eyes) and Squidward was turned down for a pet rock.
Despite his reputation of being a "bad artist", he has made art that people had enjoyed.
In Bubble Stand Squidward blew a huge bubble by using the "technique", and successfully played the clarinet by playing jazz music.
In Artist Unknown Squidward goes crazy in the end, and creates a great statue in the process.
In Best Day Ever, Squidward does a clarinet concert in which people seem to enjoy.
In The Two Faces of Squidward, Squidward becomes handsome after a face injury caused by SpongeBob.
In Giant Squidward, Squidward gets a new clarinet that sounds good.
In Suction Cup Symphony Squidward has an orchestra perform a song he wrote to Bikini Bottom (while attempting to ignore SpongeBob and Patrick along the way).
Squidward could sometimes break the law causing him to go to jail in some episodes. Besides Mr. Krabs and Plankton, he also has many criminal records and reasons why he is in jail. The only reason he likes to be in prison is that he could get away from his neighbors.
- Stealing a wallet from a customer. (Good Ol' Whatshisname)
- Running past a stop sign. (Good Ol' Whatshisname)
- Littering. (Keep Bikini Bottom Beautiful)
- Running on a stop sign. (Boating Buddies)
- Impersonation of Squilliam Fancyson. (Professor Squidward)
- Nudity. (Bossy Boots)
- Almost had his house condemned for being full of trash. (Sentimental Sponge)
- Threatened to rot in jail, because of replacing Mr. Krabs' mattress. (The Lost Mattress)
- Beating Creepy Creeper. (Squid Defense)
Squidward works as the cashier at the Krusty Krab restaurant, along with his co-worker, SpongeBob SquarePants. He not only hates his duties but the Krusty Krab itself, and he performs his job rather poorly and with a lack of enthusiasm. He also frequently behaves rudely to the customers. He has often expressed a desire to be fired or simply quit, but never makes good on it; he only seems to work there because he needs the money. In "Just One Bite", he reveals that he has never eaten a Krabby Patty and thinks them to be disgustingly unhealthy, although after having "just one bite", he falls in love with them. However, this fact is contradicted by an earlier episode in which SpongeBob forgets how to tie his shoe and, consequently, throws several Krabby Patties down Squidward's throat. (An explanation for this could be that since he didn't taste them with his tongue, he thought they were bad). In "The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie," Squidward is manager of the Krusty Krab 2 for six days, although due to Plankton's invasion of Bikini Bottom, the new restaurant is not in service during this time. Squidward's dream in "Sleepy Time" shows him playing clarinet for a king. In Selling Out, Squidward worked as the waiter for Krabby O' Mondays. He was forced to maintain a false state of happiness, or else face "Human Resources", a thug in the back of the building.
Squidward has also been:
- The "art department", filmmaker, and creator of the "real" Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Movie's designing technology. -"Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture"
- The replacement fry cook at the Krusty Krab - various episodes
- Captain Magma (a volcano-themed superhero identity) -"Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V"
- Orchestra Concert Composer and Clarinet Concert Player - Suction Cup Symphony, Best Day Ever and SquidBob TentaclePants
- Art Lesson Teacher at the Rec Center - Artist Unknown
- A former teacher from music class - Professor Squidward
- Santa Claus - Christmas Who?
- A Playwright - The Play's the Thing
- Main article: List of near-death experiences#Squidward Tentacles
Squidward has had many injuries and near death experiences. He is one of the most unfortunate characters, and is in some way hurt in almost every episode he is in (such as his head and/or nose exploding or deflating). He is shown to be an underdog, a person who almost never wins. This is frequently not caused by SpongeBob and mostly it's caused by Patrick. In some episodes his near death experience was caused by himself. (E.g. breaking his own "laugh box", freezing himself almost to death, suffocating himself with 3 pillows on his head etc.). He almost froze to death in Frozen Face-Off. He also almost always gets injured by his bad karma.
This was stated in various interviews and audio commentaries with creator Stephen Hillenburg and a few voice actors.
Stephen Hillenburg quotes the following: "Squidward is an octopus, despite the fact that he's called a squid, "It was easier for ''animation to draw him with six legs instead of eight.”
‘‘He quotes: Squidward's name is a portmanteau of the word "squid" and the name "Edward."
Squidward dislikes SpongeBob, and often tries to avoid him but not Patrick. The main reason Squidward's massive hatred for SpongeBob exists is due to the fact that SpongeBob can be extremely annoying towards Squidward, but SpongeBob is unaware of this, and thus continues to irritate him. However, on occasions, Squidward can display sympathy for SpongeBob, and this is especially seen in the episode Christmas Who?. Also, when Squidward is in a good mood, he is usually kind to SpongeBob.
Squidward doesn't seem to mind Mr. Krabs, but can sometimes lose patience with him, usually when he is a cheapskate, which usually results in him getting angry with Krabs. He also gets angry when Mr. Krabs blames something on him. Squidward and Mr. Krabs have been working together for a long time so the two have developed a decent relationship.
Squidward dislikes Patrick, but sometimes likes him, the reason is somehow Patrick can be a non-annoying type occasionally and can be quiet sometimes. In Naughty Nautical Neighbors he befriends with him, because he saved his life. Squidward however mostly calls him an idiot, imbecile etc.
Squidward and Plankton have an awkward relationship. They usually dislike each other. However in the episodesSweet and Sour Squid and Chum Fricassee, they team up. Although, they remain enemies in the end.
Gary the SnailEdit
Gary and Squidward are enemies. Gary annoys Squidward while Gary thinks Squidward is a jerk.
Squidward would befriend with her sometimes but not that much. Sometimes they don't talk, but in one episode, she transformed Squidward and SpongeBob after being stuck together. Sandy is the only character Squidward has no problems with.
- Main article: Tentacles family
RivalryEditSquilliam FancysonAdded by 120d
Squidward's archrival is Squilliam Fancyson, who he first met in high school band class, who, like all other octopi on the show, looks and acts similar to Squidward, but wears a robe and has a unibrow. Unlike Squidward, however, Squilliam is extremely successful in everything that Squidward has failed in, and is living Squidward's dream of being a wealthy celebrity artist with crowds of adoring fans. Usually with many admirers following his presence. In Squilliam’s debut episode, "Band Geeks", he calls Squidward at his home to once again rub his success in his face, saying that his band is signed to play at the Bubble Bowl but can't come, and sarcastically asking Squidward for his "band" to cover for them. Squidward, caught in the moment, claims that he does have a band and will play at the Bubble Bowl, forcing him to hastily put together a band from the residents of Bikini Bottom. Thanks to SpongeBob, their performance turns out to be much better than Squilliam could have ever expected, causing him to have a heart attack.
Squilliam returns in the aptly named episode "Squilliam Returns", in which Squidward meets Squilliam and a crowd of his fans. Squilliam tries to embarrass Squidward by showing the crowd his lowly position as a cashier, but Squidward claims to own a five-star restaurant, and Squilliam agrees to take the group to dinner there, expecting this claim to be exposed as a lie. Squidward's attempts at converting the Krusty Krab into a five-star restaurant are initially unsuccessful, until he gets SpongeBob to clear his mind of everything "except fine dining and breathing". SpongeBob is able to turn the Krusty Krab into an extremely extravagant and fancy diner. Everything goes well until Squilliam, who is admittedly impressed, asks his waiter (SpongeBob) his name. SpongeBob, having erased everything else from his mind, forgets his own name and subsequently everything else, going insane and destroying the "fancy restaurant" environment, with the help of Mr. Krabs' disgusting "appetizer" coming to life.
Squilliam appears again in "House Fancy" where Squilliam calls Squidward to boast about how his enormous house was chosen as fanciest house on the show House Fancy. Squidward then calls the show's host and claims his house is better. Then with the help of SpongeBob he attempts to make it look better but ultimately ends up destroying his house. This, the show’s host thinks is a revolutionary house design and for the second time Squidward is able to beat Squilliam.
- In Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V, Squidward revealed that he once had a girlfriend who he took out to Make Out Reef.
- In That's No Lady, Squidward and Mr. Krabs fell for Patrick who was posing as a woman named Patricia to not have to leave Bikini Bottom.
- In Love That Squid, Squidward made a date with another squid named Squilvia; surprisingly, they didn't break up by the end of the episode.
Squidward lives in a house resembling an Easter Island moai that is alive in good neighbors, placed between SpongeBob and Patrick's houses at 122 Conch Street, an address that was revealed in Slide Whistle Stooges. It has been personified several times, such as in the episode "The Secret Box", where it seems to be peeking at SpongeBob and Patrick's talk. Despite Squidward's wish for peace and quiet, his two neighbors, SpongeBob and Patrick, make it nearly impossible, due to their high level of childish immaturity and silliness. If Squidward had the choice, he would move. He did so in "Squidville", but ultimately decided that he had moved somewhere even worse. In "Opposite Day", Squidward tried to move, but SpongeBob and Patrick caused the real estate agent who was originally trying to sell Squidward's house to angrily leave, so Squidward had to stay. He also moved in "Stanley S. SquarePants", because he had realized that there were "two of them" and he became horrified. Squidward does not live alone; Snellie, his snail from "The Great Snail Race", is in residence with him. In "Can You Spare a Dime?", after quitting his job from the Krusty Krab, Squidward was homeless until SpongeBob found him living in a cardboard box and then he ends up living in SpongeBob's house. Squidward almost became homeless again in "Giant Squidward", when he turned into a giant.
In the episode "Squidville", after Squidward's house is destroyed by SpongeBob and Patrick, he sees an advertisement on TV about a town called "Tentacle Acres", home of many octopi who are virtually identical to Squidward, even living in Easter Island Heads. He decides to move there, and for a while life is spectacular, as he finds a large community of like-minded octopi into which he fits perfectly. Eventually, though, he starts to tire of the boring daily routine in which he does the same things every day in order. He begins to wreak havoc throughout the overly structured civilization of Tentacle Acres with a reef blower and an angry mob is formed against him, who corners him in an alley and forces him to escape by launching himself into the sky with his reef blower, maniacally yelling "Freedom!"
- "Oh no. Spongebob. What's he so happy about?" (first line, Help Wanted)
- "I love to burst your bubble SpongeBob, but they're laughing at you, not with you." (Grandma's Kisses)
- "That's right SpongeBob. I might sneak up on you." (Employee of the Month)
- "Are you planning on ordering today, sir?" (Pickles)
- "Awww, Sponge, it's okay." (Pizza Delivery)
- "Well this one's on the house!" (Pizza Delivery)
- "This is not a visit. You will get me my vacuum. And stop fluffing this pillow!! (Squid's Visit)
- "...Mediocre?..." (Plankton!)
- "I've never had a Krabby Patty and never will." (Just One Bite)
- "Oh please... I have no soul." (Just One Bite)
- "Does this look unsure to you?" (Just One Bite)
- "This is idiotic!" (New Leaf)
- "Too bad that didn't kill me." (Band Geeks)
- "People talk loud when they wanna act smart." (Band Geeks)
- "Well, I guess this will be the last time I can show my face in this town." (Band Geeks)
- "No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument." (Band Geeks)
- "Oh, my aching tentacles." (Pizza Delivery)
- "Shut your half-wit pieholes!!" (Club SpongeBob)
- "I hate all of you." (Karate Choppers)
- "I guess I better apolo...(chokes self)."(Fools in April)
- "Mother?!" (Fools in April)
- "Why must every eleven minutes of my life be filled with misery? Why-hy-hy-hy? (Club SpongeBob)
- "Give me that!" (Chocolate with Nuts)
- "But this is my only night to be fancy." (Chocolate with Nuts)
- "Don't listen to him Squidward, remember your karma." (My Pretty Seahorse)
- "That lemon has three seeds, THAT'S AN ODD NUMBER!" (Can You Spare a Dime?)
- "I hate my job." (Spy Buddies)
- "Mr. Tentacles has all the talent." (Artist Unknown)
- "I'll give him eleven minutes." (Nature Pants)
- "Did you find any of Patrick's gold?" (The Battle of Bikini Bottom)
- "Please tell me this isn't a joke!" (Welcome to the Chum Bucket)
- "Oh ho! My back!" (Naughty Nautical Neighbors)
- "That was my cheese, it is suppose to smell like that, kelp for brains!" (No Nose Knows)
- "You two don't deserve to wear those fezzes!" (Good Neighbors)
- "I'm glad I don't eat here." (Krabs a la Mode)
- "I'm really glad I don't eat here." (Krabs a la Mode)
- "I bet they won't have....They have it! Canned Bread!" (Squidville)
- "You owe me big time for this, Mr. Krabs." (Grandpappy the Pirate)
- "This wouldn't be the first time you ruined everything." (The Clash of Triton)
- "I don't believe in ghosts!" (Ghost Host)
- "Now these neighbors know how to live!" (Squidville)
- "Oh No! He's hot!!" (Squilliam Returns)
- "His favorite underpants!" (Christmas Who?)
- "Am I going to get paid overtime for this?" (various episodes)
- Squidward- "Patrick, exactly how dumb are you?" Patrick- "It varies." (Tentacle Vision)
- I'm woried he just left with my paycheck. (Money Talks)
- Is mayonnaise an instrument? - Patrick; No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument. Horse radish is not an instrument, either. (Band Geeks)
- "Stand back! I have gardening tools! (Squidville )
- "Where's Mr. Krabs?!" (Krab Borg)
- "I think my heart just stopped." (Your Shoe's Untied)
- "This is pretty easy!" (Pressure)
- "SpongeBob, that's a blender." (Krab Borg)
- "Uhh, the future? HUH? Wait, w-what's going on here? Why is everything...chrome?" (SB-129)